There is no play book in the game of life. I’ve picked up a few lessons, however, that I use as guide lines as I roll the dice and move around the board:
1. Dogs that bring bones also carry bones away.
2. Cream rises to the top and shit floats. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell which is which.
3. Egos are like helium balloons; the tiniest prick can burst it and send it sputtering in circles.
4. If you don’t like the game, step off of the field and have a lollipop.
5. When in doubt: be nice, seek high ground and assume the best in people. You might be wrong, but it’s easier to live with the outcomes than to take the opposite approach.
6. Daddies make the best playmates. More often than not, they are in it for the fun and will pretend to let you win. And, if you should stumble and fall, they will pick you up, dust you off and discreetly kick that kid who tripped you in the butt.